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Vitamin Q was first
discovered in 1945 by Horse Twerplingold, while traipsing around some Peruvian Mayan
ruins. He discovered an actual partially-used bottle of "Vitamachismo
Quetzecoatl", believed to have been produced by a tiny enclave of Hassidic
Jewish biochemists in ancient Machu-Pichu. Upon ingesting half a tablet, Horst
immediately changed his name to Bobby Bolivar and embarked on a little-known campaign in
the 1950's to create a unified South America. This fizzled-out when he ran out of
Vitamin Q and forgot his new name.
Twerplingold spent the rest of his life unsuccessfully trying to
identify the makeup of Vitamin Q, or just to locate another bottle. In top-secret
labs all over the world, scientists continue research into this mysterious and amazing
ancient nutrient. Then again, maybe not. Who can say for sure?
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